Ok, so here we go!

The purpose of this new blog, besides being my little outlet on the web to ramble about whatever, will probably mostly end up being for…

Drum roll please…

My TTC and pregnancy journey!

It has been over a year since we lost our beautiful little one, http://siodhachan-silas.blogspot.com, and I am finally ready for the prospect of being pregnant again.


The grieving process took a long time. Despite feeling at peace with my loss right away, because I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that my pregnancy loss was necessary for my own personal growth, it took me a long time to get where I am now.

I felt so much anger towards certain people in my life for making things so difficult for me during my pregnancy, and then the subsequent bitterness towards those same people who made my loss seem like “no big deal” “it happens, get over it already!” I went back and forth for a long time on whether or not I even wanted to try again, EVER! And then during the times I felt like I did in fact want to try again, I still had so much bitterness and resentment that I could not possibly justify allowing an innocent being to be brought into my body with so much unresolved negativity. I just couldn’t, regardless of my own wants.

Anyway, back to now. I have finally let go of all of that! I’ve taken huge steps in getting my stress levels down, which is what I personally believed caused the death of my baby. Uncontrolled stress led to high blood pressure which led to… well, whatever was the exact cause of death, which we will never know for sure.

But, I’m feeling good now. Optimistic about things. Of course I still have what I think are “normal” concerns and worries. Is there something wrong with me that was missed? Will I be able to get pregnant easily again like the last 2 times? Then what? That sort of thing. But all in all, I have a good feeling, so I’m going to run with it. And whatever happens, happens! I’m prepared for the worst but hoping for the best, which is a healthy, happy baby (and mom!).

So when do I start?!?! :D

Well, first off I am seeing my midwife tomorrow. I’ll have my check up, ask my questions, and then I’ll go from there. If everything goes well, Goddess willing, then I’m hoping to stop using birth control (just condoms) as early as April!!

And until then, I’ll just continue doing what I’ve been doing. Eating as healthy as possible, taking my supplements, working out, walking, yoga, meditation, and just working hard at being happy, healthy and as stress free as possible!

Wish me luck! :)