Month 3, day 1

AF graced me with her presence today and while I’m slightly bummed that I’m not pregnant this month, I’m also pretty relieved. I’ve been stressing out way too much over getting pregnant quickly and I just really don’t want things to be so pressured. I don’t want to conceive a life in a situation that’s so unpeaceful or negative in any way! This is supposed to be a labor of love, not stress! But I guess that because I’ve gotten pregnant SO easily in the past (2 months & 1 month) that I assumed it would happen quickly this time as well. It still may, 3 months is still early, and it may not! I just don’t like how business like it’s been so far and I want to avoid that. I believe that’s part of the reason I have gotten pregnant so easily in the past, because it wasn’t a huge deal! So, I’m going to take it down a few notches now and just enjoy the process while hoping for this best!

Whatever is meant to be will happen when the time is right!

Come on period!

Not something one would expect to hear while trying for a baby, I know, but I reaaaaally don’t think that I’m pregnant this month and I just want to get on to month 3! I’m on day 30 of a cycle that can range between 29 & 31, so it’ll be soon now, hopefully.

I tested again tonight, just in case, negative as I expected. And it sucks too, because even though it was expected, it’s still pretty disappointing. There’s always that little “maybe” hope. But anyway, I’m either not pregnant this month (most likely scenario), or I ovulated MUCH later than I thought. And I don’t even know when I ovulated this month, things have been a little crazy, probably due to me making them crazy with my own craziness!

So here’s the plan for cycle 3-

Number 1 and most important… CHILL OUT. Seriously. I’ve been stressing and obsessing far too much about this. But after a loss, it’s hard not to. I just really want to get this part over with so I can move on to the really worrisome part, 9 months of praying the little one will come out safe and sound! It’s really nerve-wracking, which I know is so not good for my body or spirit, so I’m going to try very hard this month and for however many months it may take this time to take it easy and not stress about it. That means more time focusing on my spiritual health, as well as physical. Mainly getting back on track with my yoga and exercise routine which I’ve been lagging on since moving. But not as strenuous as I had been doing over the past several months. Just enough to reap the health benefits and more importantly the stress reduction! Not so much to drop weight like I had been doing.
Some other things I’m adding this cycle-

Green tea and Fertilitea. Couldn’t hurt, right? I could use a boost in my fertile mucus, so I’ll be trying the teas along with carrot juice and I’m still debating on mucinex… But I’m not so sure about that yet. We’ll see.

Lots of baby dancing, of course. The fun part.

Good food, relaxation, hopefully some fun and I’ll go from there!

More weirdness...and waiting...

10 days dpo. Or maybe 4??? I’m so confused lately with my cycle lately!

Let’s see. I had light pink spotting on cycle day 13 with EWCM until the 14. So I am assuming that I ovulated on day 14. I could be totally wrong though, my cycle is a little wacky as of last month. Getting shorter, new PMS symptoms, things like that… I think my lack of the more strenuous exercise that I had been doing is changing things up… But anyway, we baby danced on the right days, even though I wasn’t expecting ovulation until closer to day 16 or 17. Whatever. Then, on day 21 I woke up with menstrual like cramps, not one sided like my normal ovulation type pain, so immediately I got excited about the possibly of implantation! But I also had EWCM ??? So I didn’t entirely count out late ovulation.

Then I wait…. And wait. And now here I am, possibly at 10dpo. I couldn’t resist testing so I did this morning with FMU. BFN :( It’s still early, I know, so I’m not out yet… and I could have my dates all wrong anyway. I usually have a 31 day cycle, so I’d be way early for that. But I had a 29 day cycle last month, so I don’t know how things are going to go. I’ve been crampy on and off since the cramping on day 21 though… I feel like my reds will be here any moment, which is so early for me to feel this way! Typically I don’t start cramping until EXACTLY the day before AF is due, but with all the other cycle changes, I’m not counting on my usual symptoms right now to tell me anything!

I’m not all that hopeful at the moment but then again, with my last two pregnancies I didn’t feel very hopeful either that I was actually pregnant! lol

We’ll see soon enough I guess!

2 week wait version 2.0 ;)

So here we are, month 2 of officially trying to conceive, and my second 2 week wait. I didn’t get to post during last month’s 2ww as my computer died and I only just got a new one this week… but anyway, here I am :)

I could have sworn I caught the egg last month as I had breast tenderness (not a pms symptom for me but definitely a pregnancy symptom) and tingly, hot nipples… but nope! My reds found me, 2 days earlier than usual no less. Negative tests from about day 10 until after my period, which I continued to take just to be sure I wasn’t actually pregnant as the breast pain did not let up at all during af! And didn’t for another week or so!

My own personal theory on that is that the bit of milk that I STILL have from my last pregnancy is finally drying up and causing some symptoms, but I am also a little worried about some sort of hormonal imbalance. That would be just my luck. Periods you can set a clock by for the last year+ and no issues (that I know of anyway) and then once we really start TTC, things get wacky! *sigh* But I’m trying not to worry about it right now, and I’m staying hopeful. Oh yeah, and to add to the weirdness, I am pretty sure I ovulated on day 14 this month, which is early for me, so my cycle is obviously changing. Maybe because of changes in my exercise routine, or maybe something else. I don’t know.

Anyway, cycle weirdness aside, we still managed to baby dance on the right days, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed!

I really cannot wait to be pregnant! And I’m so curious to see when it happens for me, as it took 2 months with my son and 1 month with my little one we lost… I’m hoping soon of course :D